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Equanimity

Added on October 26, 2012

Are you beating your head against a brick wall?

Equanimity: the capacity to accept that sometimes life simply is what it is.

We fight against this reality.

We want life to be the way we want it to be, we want people to behave the way we expect them to behave. And when that doesn’t happen, we become disappointed, disillusioned, frustrated, angry.

And does that change things? Probably not.

Learning equanimity doesn’t mean that we just accept everything. Some things we can change or, if we can’t, perhaps we can adapt our expectations.

But sometimes life just happens. Like an unforeseen accident, the loss of a career, or the death of a loved one. Life can throw us daggers that we can’t avoid and this can be painful. And at times like that, it’s good to remember that sometimes life simply is what it is.

And when what is hurts, it’s OK to grieve.

Equanimity doesn’t mean that you don’t feel pain. Pain is a human sensation, an emotion we can’t deny. But when we experience it in it’s purity, without the attached narrative “it shouldn’t be like this”, then it passes. And it’s empowering to watch it pass; even if it returns a little while later, we know we can allow it to pass again. The narrative only serves to prolong one’s suffering. The phrase “it shouldn’t be like this” makes no sense when the reality is that this is what it is.

Equanimity is accepting that we can’t control everything in our lives. Good happens, bad happens. And we can find peace in getting out of our heads where our thoughts proliferate, globalise and catastrophise, and mindfully getting back into our bodies – into the place where feelings reside, where the truth lives. And when the feelings pass, as they will, peace returns.



About Judith Lissing

Judith Lissing is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Wellness Coach, with 15 years experience in teaching stress management and meditation. She holds a Bachelor of Science degree with Honours in Immunology and a Masters degree in Public Health, both from the University of NSW. She is also an Associate Lecturer in the Faculty of Medicine at the University of NSW since 1999. Judith is trained in Wellness Coaching with Wellcoaches U.S. and holds a Diploma in Hypnotherapy. Prior to coaching professionally, Judith held a statewide management role with NSW Health working with all levels of staff across the health sector.




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